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Rush Limbaugh has finally come out and admit he has no talent and a life that is horseshit, but he doesn't have the courage to do something about it and put the rest of us out of his misery. The Onion has out done itself! in reference to: "I don't enjoy that stuff. I don't enjoy anything. I don't even want to be here. The sadness and regret I feel every waking hour of my life is absolutely unbearable. I am a miserable pig and I do not want to exist. The irony is that, even if I did die, the hell I would surely be sent to could not possibly be any worse than the bottomless pool of excrement I already paddle around in like some demented, shit-covered walrus. In fact, every time I hear my voice coming through the headphones I nearly gag, and I think, "What the fuck am I doing?" Why would I say that Michael J. Fox is faking his Parkinson's symptoms? Why would I find it funny to play a song called "Barack the Magic Negro"? Why would I tell people...

These are absolutely hilarious -- and dangerous. Adam has a problem. He talks in his sleep. His wife also has a problem -- she has to listen. But then she decided to turn an insomniac lemon into a web-lemonade. She started jotting down her sleeping husband's murmurings, and posting them on a blog. in reference to: ""Your mum's at the door again. Bury me. Bury me deep." "Yeah, keep looking. It doesn't get any better than this." "Shhhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhhh. I'm telling you: your voice, my ears. A bad combination."" - Sleep Talkin' Man ( view on Google Sidewiki )

If you watch TV (I don't), especially the comedians that have been giving us the news during the Bush years, you'll note something different since Bush was replaced. There is no Court Jester in Chief. I irregularly catch Jon Stewart and Bill Maher online, and they've been, well, pretty nice so far to the new president. As the Economist reports , it may just be too hard to make fun of a guy you like ... or, like his other super-human abilities, Obama also has the power to deflect witty barbs. Not so at the Onion of course, where everyone is open for lampooning. Taking the suggestion from the Economist, I went over to the Onion and searched for articles on Obama. Here's a sampling of the titles: Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker Unusually Level-Headed, Charismatic Lichen Species Named ...

NASA is looking to name the International Space Station's (ISS) Node 3 , a new connecting module and its cupola (that sounds rude), in the tradition set by the naming of Node 1 -- Unity -- and Node 2 -- Harmony . Plans are for Endeavour to deliver Node 3 to the ISS in December, but ahead of the launch schedule, NASA is running a contest to pick the name. It all seems simple, boring and straight forward. Enter the clowns. The user vanillagamer submitted the post to reddit (and similar submissions were made on digg, with all of this possibly originating on 4chan), giving instructions to vote on the NASA naming site, with the suggestion that Battletoad be entered as the suggested name. Apparently, NASA doesn't find it the least bit humorous, and is blocking the name from being counted. The comments on the reddit submission are hilarious however, and the submission has even made it to reddit's front page. speaker219 : It looks like they're blocking out votes for B...

The following comes courtesy of Cecil's Facebook page, where he shared a link to April Winchell's post of Obama's potty mouth . Apparently, Obama read the audio version of Dreams From My Father , in which he quotes Ray, a fellow classmate who could swear up a storm. The post has audio clips of Obama quoting Ray as saying, This shit's getting way too complicated for me Ignorant motherfuckers That guy ain't shit. Sorry ass motherfucker Sure, you can have my number baby! You ain't my bitch, nigga. Samuel Jackson, eat your heart out!

These are the things I learn-ed from a crossword puzzle with my wife this afternoon, over coffee at the local watering hole: French moms are mares and they go neigh, The most overused place name: Oh Shit! Aaaah!, Nfld. -- originally, of Newfoundland, now many other places around the world, and, On departing China with loads of pasta for the starving Italians, the Chinese waved at Marco Polo and yelled, "Chow!" He responded with a slightly confused, "Ciao!" And the rest, I'm afraid, is history. OK, maybe you had to be there.

When Hillary Clinton screws up, she really screws up. In a new ad campaign to discredit Obama, the Clinton video shows a fly through of a newspaper clipping. The clipping is titled, "Obama attacks Clinton's gas tax plan." Berni McCoy downloaded a high resolution copy of the video from Clinton's site, because he was curious as to what the article said. Of course, the newspaper clipping wasn't real. Some genius making the ad, actually put those words over an older newspaper article about "troopergate." What's troopergate ? A reference to allegations from the past, of Governor Bill Clinton using state troopers to arrange sexual liaisons with women. American politics is nothing, if not entertaining.

This is a funny site !

The UK's Office of Government Commerce (OGC), responsible for government procurement, recently underwent a branding exercise, the culmination of which has resulted in the creation of a logo. Everyone loves a logo, and one that is memorable, capable of surviving the changes in strategy and messaging. An OGC spokesman commented to the Register on their new logo: "The proposed version, which you have sent over, has been shared with staff, and is now going through final technical stages. It is true that it caused a few titters among some staff when viewed on its side, but on consideration we concluded that the effect was generic to the particular combination of the letters 'OGC' - and is not inappropriate to an organization that's looking to have a firm grip on government spend!" The logo will indeed be memorable, firm grip and all. Just rotate it 90-degrees clockwise to see why.

Nigerian scambaiting at its best -- here the baiter got the Nigerian scammers to copy, by hand, the entire contents of a Harry Potter novel . It doesn't get any better!

"Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld were both on television last night, answering questions," said Jon Stewart on Wednesday's Daily Show, comparing the rarity of the event to "a giant squid having sex with Bigfoot as the ghost of Jim Morrison claps giddily." The Raw Story has Jon Stewart at his best, as he takes apart a couple of the puppeteers of the Bush Administration. Click the image to read more and watch the video.

The Bible defines Pi as 3. A whole number, as pointed out at the Gospel of Reason . So just how do fundamentalist Christians reconcile the Biblical proclamation with Mathematics? Well, a helping hand. I Kings 7:23-26 references something "circular in shape" -- not a circle. So really, it wasn't a circle. Just more evidence of God testing the faithful.

New in consumerism this season -- Nothing ! For £3.49, you can purchase the perfect gift for someone who has everything -- Nothing ! What better present for the person who has everything than a poignant reminder that they want for nothing? This lovingly crafted vial of emptiness is filled to the brim with unfettered nothingness. Free from the burden of possessions, the weight of responsibility, Nothing is as idiotic as it is brilliant. Yes, the world is now officially beyond crazy! Consumerism has taken us over the edge -- you can now buy nothing.

The Raw Story has a clip of the Daily Shows commentary on the US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales answers to the queries of both Democrats and Republicans at the Senate hearings into Justice Department's firings of US State Attorneys. In his commentary, Jon Stewart channels Dick Cheney, to coach Gonzales. Says the dick via his televised medium, "You gotta piss lightning and crap thunder, Alberto!" As usual, Stewart is hilarious.

Ford CEO Alan Mulally had an opportunity to save the world, instead, he proved his mettle as a tactically thinking CEO and made the short-term decision. Ford had arranged for one of their hybrid vehicles to make a public appearance at the White House. They had a arranged for a ceremonial charging -- plugging the hybrid in, at the White House. Bush was dragged out on the lawn to do the plugging, but he was apparently heading to plug the electricity into the hybrid's hydrogen tank, when CEO Mulally had the stupid sense to correct Bush . Think about it: hydrogen + electricity = kaboom! OK, well, maybe not. Safety features and all that -- but one can just imagine. Now I'm never going to buy a Ford again.

Google TiSP (BETA) is Google’s foray into the Net Neutrality debate. Sign up, and Google will ship you a free TiSP system package for your own in-home installation that will bring you free WiFi broadband access. The installation is pretty simple -- and involves you dropping a fibre-optic cable into your toilet to connect it to one of the many TiSP Access Nodes. Not a bad April Fool’s joke. Updated: This one is good too ... Gmail paper ! Get all your emails printed, for free!