BlingH2O

BlingH2O -- just when it couldn't get worse, it does. BlingH2O goes and takes what is (and should be) a fundamental human right, and perverts to hell. What the hell is BlingH2O? It's water. Just bottled water -- although its makers would rather you think it otherwise, cause BlingH2O comes in a corked, 750mL, frosted bottle, that has been handcrafted with Swarovski crystals. Bling!

According to the BlingH2O website, we owe this little bit of depravity to Kevin G. Boyd, a most un-notable "Hollywood writer-producer", who noticed that "you could tell a lot about a person by the bottled water they carried." So he set out to create a market for water for the super-luxury consumer market -- ie. not for you worthless drivels, "just those that Bling." If you Bling, you must really be stupid, because water, is, well, water, and this BlingH2O comes from Dandridge, Tennessee -- a place that certainly doesn't Bling -- but apparently knows stupid when it finds it.

If you're wondering how much pretension costs these days, it's about $40US per 750mL bottle. There you, Bling! -- the sound of gold coin rattling around the empty cranium of the rich.

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