Anger
Anger: a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility according to the dictionary. For a long time, I didn't think that I was an angry person -- someone who got steamed up pretty easily. Some reflection however has allowed me to conclude that I do get easily riled. I've always thought that getting angry wasn't a bad thing -- after all, anger is just an emotion that we're equipped with. It has served us well, and has gotten us so far. I've always thought that what you do with anger could lead to regrets -- so while anger can lead to bad things, it isn't by itself, bad. It can lead to good things in fact. Many people get stirred into action to do the right thing after getting angry at an injustice for instance.
So anger isn't bad ... right? Well, consider the following ...
Anger tends to be a downward spiral. The more you practice getting angry, the better you will be at it, and the more you will like use it. Those around you will learn of your anger, and will build up defenses -- either leading to them getting angry as well; tuning you out; or giving in to your anger. Think of the people who make up your social circle, and think of how they react to your anger. Is that a good way to relate?
Anger probably was good for us when we were faced with constant fight or flight situations in our evolutionary past. Today however, we live in societies within a more or less civilized world. Anger puts your body on red alert. This is OK when your body needs to react quickly. Adrenaline floods your body; your heart beat increases as blood stretches your circulatory system to the max in order deliver oxygen to your muscles; and I'm sure certain parts of the brain just gets turned off so you are ready for the fight. Imagine being like this on a regular basis. Studies have correlated people with hostile personalities with an increased risk of heart attacks. Similarly, there are a host of other conditions that a hostile personality can exacerbate -- leading to, yes, you knew it was coming, death (if someone doesn't get to you first that is). It doesn't matter if you act out your anger or suppress it -- your body knows when you're angry, and your physiology is being impacted to it.
So much for what I always believed -- what you do or don't do with anger matters still -- but regardless -- if you have a chronic anger problem, you're screwed either way. (You're going to have to check with an expert to know what chronic means.) As with the physiological, there are also other impacts of anger -- namely your relationships. Regardless of whether you're openly hostile to others; you suppress it; or you target yourself with your anger; it hurts your relationships. The more your relationships are hurt, the less happy you will be and the more you will feel as if things are out of your control. Life, work, love -- you name it -- it's all about relationships. Anger -- hostility -- it hurts all of them. A chronic anger problem then can accomplish only one thing in the extreme end -- death without friends.
So what to do? Gaining some awareness can't be too bad -- regardless of whether your problem is a chronic one or not. It's one of the topics I'm currently exploring. If you think you have a chronic problem, you may want to get some help.
Related reading:
So anger isn't bad ... right? Well, consider the following ...
Anger tends to be a downward spiral. The more you practice getting angry, the better you will be at it, and the more you will like use it. Those around you will learn of your anger, and will build up defenses -- either leading to them getting angry as well; tuning you out; or giving in to your anger. Think of the people who make up your social circle, and think of how they react to your anger. Is that a good way to relate?
Anger probably was good for us when we were faced with constant fight or flight situations in our evolutionary past. Today however, we live in societies within a more or less civilized world. Anger puts your body on red alert. This is OK when your body needs to react quickly. Adrenaline floods your body; your heart beat increases as blood stretches your circulatory system to the max in order deliver oxygen to your muscles; and I'm sure certain parts of the brain just gets turned off so you are ready for the fight. Imagine being like this on a regular basis. Studies have correlated people with hostile personalities with an increased risk of heart attacks. Similarly, there are a host of other conditions that a hostile personality can exacerbate -- leading to, yes, you knew it was coming, death (if someone doesn't get to you first that is). It doesn't matter if you act out your anger or suppress it -- your body knows when you're angry, and your physiology is being impacted to it.
So much for what I always believed -- what you do or don't do with anger matters still -- but regardless -- if you have a chronic anger problem, you're screwed either way. (You're going to have to check with an expert to know what chronic means.) As with the physiological, there are also other impacts of anger -- namely your relationships. Regardless of whether you're openly hostile to others; you suppress it; or you target yourself with your anger; it hurts your relationships. The more your relationships are hurt, the less happy you will be and the more you will feel as if things are out of your control. Life, work, love -- you name it -- it's all about relationships. Anger -- hostility -- it hurts all of them. A chronic anger problem then can accomplish only one thing in the extreme end -- death without friends.
So what to do? Gaining some awareness can't be too bad -- regardless of whether your problem is a chronic one or not. It's one of the topics I'm currently exploring. If you think you have a chronic problem, you may want to get some help.
Related reading:
- Anger -- the Wikipedia entry.
- Controlling Anger -- Before It Controls You -- an entry at the American Psychological Association.
- Anger and Aggression -- a chapter from Psychological Self-Help.
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