Lord Vishnu's Love Handles
Lord Vishnu's Love Handles, by Will Clarke -- one weird and fucked up story. I picked up the book because the title peaked my interest -- me being a wayward Hindu and all. The words under the book title, and the sales pitch on the inside cover flap were what sold me however. The book is subtitled, A Spy Novel (Sort Of). Clarke has a sense of humour -- a very twisted sense of humour.
The book chronicles the mid-life crisis-adventures of one, Travis Anderson -- a suburbanite with a good suburban life, beautiful wife, young son, clubs, fake friends and fake parties. Travis has a comfy life that has been afforded by his entry into the web business at the right time. Travis started the web business with a college friend because his psychic visions told him it was the right thing to do. His psychic abilities also gives him the upper hand at the online game, Psychic Cow, which he plays on a regular basis.
Problem is Travis' visions are also driving him mad. He keeps dreaming that his wife is cheating on him with his business partner -- that her DNA are taunting him for having weak DNA -- and he doesn't know if he should believe these visions. It's bothering him so much that he has taken to drinking more than usual to numb his senses, and is letting his business run to the ground by his partner while he spends the entire working day playing Psychic Cow. Things really go bad when his business goes belly-up, and the IRS comes knocking for the $5 million he didn't know he owed in back taxes. His wife is losing her mind that their nice life is about to be destroyed and Travis has become an alcoholic instead of getting them out of hot water.
Things go from bad to worse when Travis decides to make a deal with the CIA. Seems that the CIA has been monitoring Travis online game play at Psychic Cow, and they believe he has some innate psychic abilities that could aid the government. For his cooperation in joining the shadow government group called Shimmer, all will be forgiven, his taxes will be paid, and life will just be wonderful -- as long as he lays off the alcohol -- goes dry in fact -- and do what he's told. Serving his country and getting the $5 million erased sounds like a good deal -- but Travis didn't bargain on being trained by a Ikshu, a Hindu holy man and leader of a cult called the Holy Vishnus, who happens to believe that he is the 10th incarnation of Lord Vishnu, named Kalki the destroyer of worlds; or having Lord Vishnu himself follow him around, although no one else can see Lord Vishnu; or being pursued by two psychics who work for Shimmer, and think they're vampires, and may or may not be on his side. When things go worse, they really go worse. People start dying around; he has visions of his wife and son being murdered -- which raises some really mixed feelings, since his wife is now pregnant, and he's not sure if he's the father. Staying dry has never been harder -- as his life falls apart, bottles of alcohol start whispering sweet nothings in his ear.
The book moves at a pretty good pace, with the latter half becoming relentless. The characters are wacky, making you wonder what was Clarke on when he dreamed them up. Altogether, a very entertaining book -- full of humour, mischief and foul language. It comes highly recommended from me.
The first chapter of the book is available as a sample online -- it's in PDF format.
The book chronicles the mid-life crisis-adventures of one, Travis Anderson -- a suburbanite with a good suburban life, beautiful wife, young son, clubs, fake friends and fake parties. Travis has a comfy life that has been afforded by his entry into the web business at the right time. Travis started the web business with a college friend because his psychic visions told him it was the right thing to do. His psychic abilities also gives him the upper hand at the online game, Psychic Cow, which he plays on a regular basis.
Problem is Travis' visions are also driving him mad. He keeps dreaming that his wife is cheating on him with his business partner -- that her DNA are taunting him for having weak DNA -- and he doesn't know if he should believe these visions. It's bothering him so much that he has taken to drinking more than usual to numb his senses, and is letting his business run to the ground by his partner while he spends the entire working day playing Psychic Cow. Things really go bad when his business goes belly-up, and the IRS comes knocking for the $5 million he didn't know he owed in back taxes. His wife is losing her mind that their nice life is about to be destroyed and Travis has become an alcoholic instead of getting them out of hot water.
Things go from bad to worse when Travis decides to make a deal with the CIA. Seems that the CIA has been monitoring Travis online game play at Psychic Cow, and they believe he has some innate psychic abilities that could aid the government. For his cooperation in joining the shadow government group called Shimmer, all will be forgiven, his taxes will be paid, and life will just be wonderful -- as long as he lays off the alcohol -- goes dry in fact -- and do what he's told. Serving his country and getting the $5 million erased sounds like a good deal -- but Travis didn't bargain on being trained by a Ikshu, a Hindu holy man and leader of a cult called the Holy Vishnus, who happens to believe that he is the 10th incarnation of Lord Vishnu, named Kalki the destroyer of worlds; or having Lord Vishnu himself follow him around, although no one else can see Lord Vishnu; or being pursued by two psychics who work for Shimmer, and think they're vampires, and may or may not be on his side. When things go worse, they really go worse. People start dying around; he has visions of his wife and son being murdered -- which raises some really mixed feelings, since his wife is now pregnant, and he's not sure if he's the father. Staying dry has never been harder -- as his life falls apart, bottles of alcohol start whispering sweet nothings in his ear.
The book moves at a pretty good pace, with the latter half becoming relentless. The characters are wacky, making you wonder what was Clarke on when he dreamed them up. Altogether, a very entertaining book -- full of humour, mischief and foul language. It comes highly recommended from me.
The first chapter of the book is available as a sample online -- it's in PDF format.
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