Signs of the apocalypse ...

... or you know you're going to have a really shitty day when ...

1) You wake up ... several times between 4 and 7AM.
2) In the kitchen, you find that the water filter that you had carefully filled the night before is empty, and there is no water in the kettle. There is now wait time for the all important coffee.
3) You open the freezer for some waffles, and find that someone has already beaten you there. They've helped themselves to two waffles, but left the box and bag open, so the rest of the waffles can turn into frozen shit for whoever comes afterwards.
4) Also in the freezer, you find a sign of the pizza pocket box. It is empty, open and still in the freezer. Kinda like life lately: just a shell, empty of it's contents and cold.
5) You come to your computer and find that someone's already beaten you there, because your glass of juice is lying across your keyboard.

You think about all of this and you realize, this is all your damn fault anyway.

1) You woke up. Not once, but many times. WTF is your problem?
2) That just reflects your outlook on life you depressing bastard. The kettle has a little water, it's not almost empty! See the positives!
3) Again, you're just being negative. Someone went to all the trouble to giving you easy access to the waffles.
4) There, you're just being negative yet again. That was left to provide you with an opportunity to feel like you're contributing to your household. It's the least you can do you lazy ass.
5) Well now, who's fault is that for leaving a glass of juice on the desk. How many times have you been told not to do that?! Learn the lesson!

I will now go forth in my day, and will try to take a positive outlook on all the mishaps that will befall me; the people who will try to screw me; and the sheer stupidity that I will be made a witness of. I will pretend that I am a religious man, and that god is simply testing the faithful. I will work very hard not to take out my frustrations on the ones I care for -- but if I break -- watch out people that I don't give a damn about -- it will be your fault I had juice all over my keyboard!!!