Book of Eli

It was a religious movie. It was about fate. It was a King James bible, written in braille. Oh, sorry, I should warn you. If you haven't seen the movie, I'm about to ruin it for you.

But don't take that the wrong way. I actually was entertained by the movie. I just can help pissing all over it however, because a big part of it was silly, and the other big part of it was silly, too. What was left of the movie, was entertaining. So I advise you to check your brain at the door.

The premise of the movie: 30 years ago, the world was lit up in a nuclear war -- or at least, America had nuclear weapons rain down on it. Most people died. Quite a few were blinded. Those that left, fended for themselves. In other words, they reduced themselves to savagery.

Enter Eli. He's blind. But you won't find this out until the very last minute of the movie. I just ruined it for you. (My pleasure, no need to thank me.) A voice (that's god for the uninitiated) tells him to go looking in some rubble for a bible, then take it and head west. After the war, apparently the atheists took over and burn all the bibles, since religion was blamed for the war. Eli's bible is the only one that remains. In America, anyway.

30 years on, Eli is still walking. He packs the vengeance of god with him, in the form of a blade that would make Wesley Snipes shake in his boots -- and some nice guns. He also eat cats, speak to rats and has a thing for lip balm. He thinks cannibalism is bad, however. He's blind, but that's OK, god is leading him west. Maybe. God also lets us know that the blind, as well as having the ability to kick ass, have super human smell and hearing. Apparently, god is currently fucking with blind people around the world, by withholding this super power.

That's the first part that's silly.

The other part that's silly, is the whole religion thing. Eli has fate. Good for him. It helps him get up every morning, kick ass and wear cool shades (not exactly in that order). But I think Eli got it wrong. Carnegie (Gary Oldman) got it right. It's all about control. It's all about having the right words. And the bible is full of the right words to get people to be obedient and do whatever shit you tell them to do. That's what probably got the world to apocalypse in the first place, and Eli's fate is just going to get it there again, as the movie ends with the words of Eli being rolled off the press in Alcatraz.

Alcatraz. Yes, the irony was not lost on me.

in reference to:

"A common misperception is that when someone loses their sight, or for that matter any of their other senses, their other senses become more sensitive. This is not true. In actuality, when one is deprived of a sense, he or she will learn to use their remaining faculties more efficiently. In other words your other senses do not be come stronger; you just learn to obtain information through them that you would have obtained through the sense you lost. For example, with sight you could look at someone's face and know immediately that that person is smiling, where as if you were blind you'd have to listen to that person's voice inflection to be able to tell if they were smiling or not."
- Myths and Stereotypes About Blind People, Blind Myths and Stereotypes (view on Google Sidewiki)