Movies
Barbarian Queen -- Oh, what a bad, exploitation movie. Made in 1985, the movie sought to take advantage of the Conan craze. There was no sorcery, just a lot of bad gladiators, warrior women, who can kick ass, but sometimes can't defend themselves when their tops are being torn off. What a crappy b-movie. The plot: evil emperor guy is nasty, rapes and pillages villages. Unfortunately he picked the wrong village. After killing most of the villagers, and taking the rest as slave, he retires to his castle to prance around torturing some captives and plan his big gladiator joust. Unfortunately, it all goes wrong when the Barbarian Queen from the village comes seeking revenge and her prince, who was enslaved by the dastardly evil emperor. A lot of cheesy fights ensue.
Bloodsucking Redneck Vampires -- Another load of crap I watched. It was funny, but sometimes unintentional. The premise: a vampire seeks to turn a redneck town into her vampire army to defeat a gay, french Van Helsing type that's after her. Unfortunately, the town's residents are rednecks -- stupid, stupid rednecks -- who keep killing themselves accidentally after being turned into vampires. The acting is bad. I've never seen worse rednecks in a movie.
Flesh for the Beast -- This is a haunted house movie that fails miserably. The entire movie is a cliche. There are demons and zombies haunting a house. A crew is brought in to clear the evil and restore the house. A stupid crew. First thing they do is split up. From there, the movie loses all sense of a good horror movie. The good guys get killed off one at a time. There is no character development. You kinda start cheering for the next victim to meet their untimely demise just so you can get to the end of the movie faster.
The Chronicles of Riddick -- Saw this one with my daughter -- unlike the crap above. It was pretty good. The story? Whatever. The acting? Whatever. The action? Cool! The special effects? Over the top cool! Definitely a movie to watch for the effects. The plot isn't a bad one either. The writers certainly set out to create a franchise. Whether they capitalize on it with future movies is another story. [That's a pun!]
Bloodsucking Redneck Vampires -- Another load of crap I watched. It was funny, but sometimes unintentional. The premise: a vampire seeks to turn a redneck town into her vampire army to defeat a gay, french Van Helsing type that's after her. Unfortunately, the town's residents are rednecks -- stupid, stupid rednecks -- who keep killing themselves accidentally after being turned into vampires. The acting is bad. I've never seen worse rednecks in a movie.
Flesh for the Beast -- This is a haunted house movie that fails miserably. The entire movie is a cliche. There are demons and zombies haunting a house. A crew is brought in to clear the evil and restore the house. A stupid crew. First thing they do is split up. From there, the movie loses all sense of a good horror movie. The good guys get killed off one at a time. There is no character development. You kinda start cheering for the next victim to meet their untimely demise just so you can get to the end of the movie faster.
The Chronicles of Riddick -- Saw this one with my daughter -- unlike the crap above. It was pretty good. The story? Whatever. The acting? Whatever. The action? Cool! The special effects? Over the top cool! Definitely a movie to watch for the effects. The plot isn't a bad one either. The writers certainly set out to create a franchise. Whether they capitalize on it with future movies is another story. [That's a pun!]
The Actor ... well, to use the term loosely ... Cool! I mean, Hot! He forgot to mention that part.
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